Los Angeles, California - American Idol returns tonight for the show’s 12th season. From the beginning when thousands of hopefuls auditioning and making no impact on the world whatsoever, to the end when one contestant wins it all and makes no impact on the world whatsoever, much of the show will remain the same. However, this season will see feature almost an entirely new panel of judges, except for the mainstay douchebag who constantly tries to seem hip, Randy Jackson. This year will see the introduction of Keith Urban and terrible human beings Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj – who is mostly plastic, so please excuse our phrase “human being.” The show will once again be hosted by Ryan Seacrest, who, between television and radio, holds 18 different jobs, though it is unclear why he has any of them. The show will premiere at 8:00 eastern and run until 10:00 eastern, so people are being urged not to watch television during those times. There are plenty of better options. For example: we understand there is somewhat of an ice storm happening in the mid south – do that instead.

Ridicularity.com is attempting to branch out into the tv world. We have spent the last few years developing and writing a new comedy called “My Friend’s An Idiot.” Our hopes are to enter it into festivals, submit it to networks and see if we can find a home for it. Before we can do any of that, we must shoot the first episode and to do that, we are raising funds. We have options to donate as little as $1 as every little bit helps us reach our goal. To find out more, please visit: http://www.indiegogo.com/myfriendsanidiot

Thank you

Los Angeles, California - With tonight’s premiere of the new ABC show, ‘Don’t Trust The B— In Apt. 23, James Van Der Beek makes his triumphant return to prime time television, though he never left our hearts or minds. Van Der Beek, who rose to stardom in the late 90′s with ‘Dawson’s Creek’ has been involved in a couple of television series in recent years, they have been mostly garbage. His new show promises to me no different, however, as Don’t Trust The B— appears to be a show that will be canceled after six episodes as it’s only redeeming quality is likely VDB himself. Though it is unclear how such a clear mistake of a show landed such an American treasure, ABC executives are excited as it premieres tonight after Modern Family. They will then excitedly begin looking for a replacement show 15 minutes into the first episode

Los Angeles, California - Sad news in the music world today as singer Whitney Houston has died at the age of 48. In even sadder news, comedian Whitney Cummings is still alive. The multi award winning Houston was the only artist to chart seven consecutive Billboard Hot 100 Hits. She delivered one of the biggest hits ever with “I Will Always Love You” from The Bodyguard soundtrack in 1992. Whitney Cummings, the 29 year old female comedian, however, is unfortunately still among the living. Cummings is best known for her amazingly unfunny show, “Whitney” on NBC. The cause of Houston’s death was not immediately known, as police are still investigating. They are also investigating how Whitney Cummings was ever given a television show. The obvious answer: blowjobs. We are expecting to learn more in the next couple of days, as the only thing we know at this moment is that the wrong Whitney has died.

Los Angeles, California - Though tonight’s episode of the hit ABC show ‘Modern Family’ has not even aired yet, it is already offending plenty of pussies who can’t mind their own business. McKay Hatch, an 18 year old who is the biggest pussy among them, is reportedly the most offended of all. Hatch founded the No Cussing Club in 2007. Though it sounds like a joke, we are not kidding. So what exactly is this lame ass club so offended over? Reportedly, in tonight’s episode of the hit comedy, the 2 year old daughter of characters Mitchell and Cameron, utters her first curse word, the word “fuck.” Of course, it is beeped out and her mouth blurred as she says the word (which, in real life, the child actually reportedly said the word “fudge.”) Hatch is asking that ABC not air the episode, because he “wants ABC to know that people all over the world don’t want to hear a 2 year old saying the F-bomb on TV.” Oh no! Not the “F-bomb!” Also, by “people all over the world,” he means the 35,000 members of his No Cussing Club throughout the United States and about three dozen other countries. Wow! 35,000 – an impressive number, considering there over 312 million IN THE UNITED STATES ALONE! The number is likely to grow after the coverage the story is now receiving, because there are always assholes who think they know what is best for other people they don’t even know. Modern Family will air as scheduled tonight on at 9 p.m. EST as ABC has no plans of pulling it (as the super sensitive 18 year old pussy who thinks he knows what everyone should see and hear as if people are not able to think for themselves and decide what they do or do not watch or listen to) desires. It could be worse, however. As opposed to this 18 year old pussy, we could have an entire group of assholes thinking they know what is best for us when it comes to television, music, or radio. Oh, wait, we do… That would be the pieces of shit known as the FCC.

Las Vegas, Nevada – After not being held for 5 years, the Billboard Music Awards returned last night and were more impressive than ever (to 15 year old girls, that is). Eminem, Justin Bieber, and Taylor Swift were among the big winners of the awards that are decided by record sales and radio stations – 2 things that used to matter. The night was packed wtih performances that dazzled pre teens, teens, and young adults who never advanced mentally beyond the age of 17. It was a night of wild performances as Kesha took the stage and continued to try to act like she is an attractive girl, Rihanna continued to be a complete whore, and The Black Eyed Peas just continued to perfect the art of terrible music. It was a night of celebration for everyone involved – forced celebration, mind you, but celebration nonetheless. It was definitely everything you could ask for from a show that presents awards based on record sales – which are not what they used to be thanks to digital music stores, and radio airplay – which has become basically hearing the same 9 songs a day programmed ahead of time and played to you by a DJ who thinks he’s the funniest and most clever person since Howard Stern. Delusional thoughts aside, the show was a success and it’s return after a 5 year hiatus in which it didn’t seem to be missed at all, was all the buzz on Twitter and Facebook. Overall, it was a good night for everyone, no matter if it was an artist who won an award, a record company executive who was able to pretend for a few hours that iTunes isn’t going to eventually crush you, the radio DJ who thinks he’s one of the best ever but is actually nothing but ego and bad puns, and all fans of things that are wrong with the world.

Pearl, Mississippi - The end of the year is almost upon us. And every tv show, magazine, and web site will be giving you their best and worst lists of the year in numerous categories. Ridicularity.com would like to help you by offering our review for the absolute best product introduced to the public this year. We like to keep you up to date on not just the news, but revolutionary products as well. Therefore, our product of the year for 2010 is the shake weight. This piece of exercise equipment burst onto the scene this year, promising to deliver dynamic results to your arms and shoulders…..and no other muscle on your body! This “amazing” product does so by holding a single dumbbell in front of you as you shake it, the coils then fire back and forth, challenging your muscles like never before…..well, not since you fist pumped in the club for 5 minutes. Now, we don’t expect you just to take our word for it, so we are also offering testimonials from other people we contacted who experienced the shake weight. Here’s what some of them had to say…..

Chris Grant, personal trainer from Austin, Texas – “A lady who had used the shake weight for 2 months and was not satisfied with her results came to me and wanted me to train her. I told her “absolutely” and to come back the next day and bring the shake weight. When she came back the next day, I walked out to her car with her, took her shake weight, and threw it through her windshield. I then looked at her and said “psych!!” then walked back inside.”

Lindsay Davis, personal trainer from Austin, Texas – “One of my clients purchased a shake weight and brought it in to me and asked if we could spend that day’s session training with it. I cut her…. Not only from my list of clients, but also with a knife.”

Keith Robinson, business owner from New Orleans, Louisiana – “This thing is about as ridiculous as the Saints constantly talking about how they helped “bring New Orleans back” after hurricane Katrina. It’s been 5 years, let it go. Where were you when I made the decision to order this freakin shake weight?! Yeah, you really helped out there, didn’t you!?”

Jay Martin, accountant from Nashville, Tennessee – “I love this thing! I find myself needing a daily reminder to make bad choices in my life. All I have to do is look at my shake weight and that’s taken care of.”

Peyton Manning, NFL quarterback, Indianapolis, Indiana – “I’ll endorse anything. I love this product.”

It’s easy to see why we would make the shake weight the Ridicularity.com 2010 product of the year. So if you’re still debating on whether or not to buy yourself one, DON’T WAIT, HURRY……..to shoot yourself in the face.

Washington, D.C. - The Federal Communications Commission, or the FCC, the group of out of touch people who are responsible for deciding what is best for the rest of us when it comes to what we see and hear on the radio and television, is at it again. For quite some time now, tv networks, radio stations, and especially the personalities on those radio stations have lived in fear of the FCC and their list of phrases and words that are not allowed to be said. The beauty is nobody has ever been 100 percent clear on what that list contains, and the FCC has done little to clarify, yet they ceratainly have been quick to fine those who uttered any of the words on their mythical list. The latest victim of these fines: well known ESPN personality Chris Berman, the host of NFL Sunday Countdown. It happened early this morning when Berman was talking about the Atlanta Falcons last minute victory over the Baltimore Ravens Thursday night. “The Falcons, a thilling come from behind victory over the Ravens Thursday on the NFL Network.” That was the prhase that earned him the fine. Julius Genachowski, the chairman of the FCC, stated that Mr. Berman was fined because the phrase “come from behind victory sounds like he is promoting rape or some sort of sexual assault.” Fines have also been levied against other broadcasters this week. ESPN College Gameday host, Kirk Herbstreit has been fined for his comments during the show yesterday when referring to Oregon Ducks head football coach Chip Kelly when he said “Coach Kelly has a good looking package he has put together at that school.” It also appears that the FCC is working retroactively because they also penalized announcers for comments they have made earlier in the season. The following is a list of those who have been fined and the phrases they have been fined for this season:

NBC commentator Al Michaels – “It’s amazing how many balls Braylon Edwards has had in his hands and dropped tonight”

ESPN Sunday Countdown co host Mike Ditka – “Look at this tremendous penetration by Ray Lewis”

NFL on CBS co host Dan Marino – “Jay Cutler went down hard on that sack and he’s hurt”

NBC analyst Chris Collinsworth – “I love penis, lots and lots of other mens’ penises”

So, as you can see, the FCC is once again overreacting over phrases we hear every week during football broadcasts…..well, except for Chris Collinsworth, but what else do you expect from that guy, he’s just telling the truth about his personal life. So it appears that this group of indiiduals who for some reason think they know what’s best for us, better than we know what’s best for ourselves, are enforcing rules stricter than ever before. Why? No one knows. Maybe it’s because they need to feel more important than they really are, maybe they need to feel powerful because they are miserable people. Whatever the reason, members of broadcast media need to be on their toes, especially those in radio, because the FCC has also announced they will heavily fine any station who plays the band Hinder…..the first move by the FCC that has ever made perfect sense, that band is terrible