Posted on 06 February 2012 by bmar1127
Indianapolis, Indiana - Tom Brady’s wife, super model Gisele Bundchen, is placing the blame squarely on the Patriots receivers for the teams Super Bowl loss last night. “I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times. My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time” she was heard saying. She may indeed have a good point, as we saw key drops late in the game from receivers Wes Welker and Deion Branch. Another good point would be that she should keep her fucking mouth shut and stick to doing what has made her millions of dollars – showing her tits and ass to the world – NOT playing the role of football analyst! NFL receivers make their living catching footballs. You made your living helping guys jerk off! NFL receivers, though they make mistakes, they know about catching footballs. It is their business, it is their craft. The only balls you know about catching are the ones between men’s legs. Your business and craft is modeling underwear. The next time we need to catch a whack, we’ll look to you. As far as football analysis and opinion goes, we’ll look elsewhere for that.
Posted on 05 February 2012 by bmar1127
Indianapolis, Indiana - The New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots 21-17 tonight to win Super Bowl XLVI, giving the team their second championship in five seasons. It also gives Eli Manning his second Super Bowl MVP as he was given the award for his performance, completing 30 out of 40 passes for 296 yards and 1 touchdown. But it was what happened after the trophies were handed out that had Manning upset. Apparently, before the game, it was agreed upon by the game’s two star quarterbacks – Manning and Tom Brady – that they would be performing a brobang on Madonna after the game. When they approached Madonna, given the fact that she has always been a whore and is completely desperate to stay in the spotlight these days, she agreed as well. The stage was set for a Super Bowl brobang. However, immediately after Manning was presented with the trophy for most valuable player, he bolted off stage (as we can see by Dan Patrick having to call him back to get the keys to his new Corvette) and ran to the locker room to meet up with Brady. As he entered the locker room, he was met with the sight of Tom Brady already thrusting into Madonna. He then noticed that he had apparently been replaced in the brobang by New England tight end, Aaron Hernandez. As Manning stood watching Brady and Hernandez high five each other while both going to town on Madonna, the quarterback’s eyes filled with water, resembling the sweat that was forming on Tom Brady’s abs as he thrust repeatedly into the aging pop singer that should have just given up her career long ago. But why the change of heart from Brady? Was he so upset over the fact that Manning had beaten him on the field that he felt this was a suitable revenge? Was he told not to brobang with the enemy? Or was it the fact that Eli Manning looks like a mixture of a trout and a pig with down syndrome? Ridicularity.com will investigate and bring you answers as soon as we find them.
Posted on 30 January 2012 by bmar1127
Indianapolis, Indiana - Super Bowl week has arrived, which typically means every reporter in Indianapolis asking every question under the sun, searching for that perfect story or soundbite from any of the players in this Sunday’s big game. Well, that story arrived early this afternoon when New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin released the team’s latest injury report, a list that was headlined by the name Eli Manning. The report has Manning listed as questionable with a slight case of masturbation shame. There has been no comment yet on exactly what caused the situation, but it is likely to be the first question asked when the Giants hold their first press conference later today. Masturbation shame is common among athletes, especially those on a stage as large as the Super Bowl. For example, it was rumored just last year that Ben Roethlisberger’s losing performance in Super Bowl XLV was due to his own masturbation shame (of course, he did rape 2 people.) Other notable players who have suffered from this during Super Bowl week include former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Freddie Mitchell, former Oakland Raiders quarterback Rich Gannon, and former San Diego Chargers running back Natrone Means, just to name a few. These men were all members of losing Super Bowl teams. The only exception remains former Green Bay Packers tight end Mark Chmura who was said to be suffering from a severe case of masturbation shame during the week of Super Bowl XXXI, but was able to bounce back and help his Packers to defeat the Patriots. MS can be caused by any number of things and can range in seriousness. As this is a developing story, you can be sure Ridicularity.com will keep you up to date with the latest information.