Brandon, Mississippi - Concerns that there may be a shortage of assholes in the United States have recently been quieted by the people of Mississippi. It is all due to American Idol contestant Skylar Laine, who is from the state. And simply because she is from the state, Mississippians act like she is just the best thing ever. It is much like an unrealistic sports fan who ignores all logic and believes that his favorite hometown team will win a championship because they happen to be in the same area. Much like that unrealistic sports fan, fans of Skylar Laine show their support by wearing t shirts that say “Skoutlow”, a moronic word that simply takes the first two letters from her name and puts them at the beginning of the word outlaw. By wearing shirts like this, they began proving that there is no shortage of assholes. Further proof was given when the state’s shitty newspaper, The Clarion Ledger, began writing articles about her praising how fantastic she is in order to pander to their readers. Confirmation was finally delivered that no shortage of assholes exists when that same shitty newspaper showed pictures of large gatherings of assholes wearing Skoutlaw t shirts and holding up homemade signs supporting Laine. The popularity of American Idol cannot be denied, nor can the fact that people are going to cast votes for their favorite future failed musician from the show. But vote for who you think is the best, not who is from your state, and certainly not 2,500 times as we recently read of one pathetic asshole from the area doing. Further research concluding that there is no shortage of assholes was done by seeing people having thier sad detailed conversations on Facebook debating her tone, pitch, and range, but then ending those conversations by simply posting “Go Skylar! Shoutout to Mississippi!”