Indianapolis, Indiana - Super Bowl week has arrived, which typically means every reporter in Indianapolis asking every question under the sun, searching for that perfect story or soundbite from any of the players in this Sunday’s big game. Well, that story arrived early this afternoon when New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin released the team’s latest injury report, a list that was headlined by the name Eli Manning. The report has Manning listed as questionable with a slight case of masturbation shame. There has been no comment yet on exactly what caused the situation, but it is likely to be the first question asked when the Giants hold their first press conference later today. Masturbation shame is common among athletes, especially those on a stage as large as the Super Bowl. For example, it was rumored just last year that Ben Roethlisberger’s losing performance in Super Bowl XLV was due to his own masturbation shame (of course, he did rape 2 people.) Other notable players who have suffered from this during Super Bowl week include former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Freddie Mitchell, former Oakland Raiders quarterback Rich Gannon, and former San Diego Chargers running back Natrone Means, just to name a few. These men were all members of losing Super Bowl teams. The only exception remains former Green Bay Packers tight end Mark Chmura who was said to be suffering from a severe case of masturbation shame during the week of Super Bowl XXXI, but was able to bounce back and help his Packers to defeat the Patriots. MS can be caused by any number of things and can range in seriousness. As this is a developing story, you can be sure Ridicularity.com will keep you up to date with the latest information.