Abbottabad, Pakistan – Americans rejoiced last night as they heard the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. They gathered in the streets of Washington outside the white house, they gathered in the streets of New York at the site of the World Trade Center attacks, they shouted from rooftops and climbed trees, all the while waving the American flag. Those celebrations then grew larger and louder as president Obama made the official announcement that the man responsible for the attacks on 9/11 had finally been killed almost 10 years later. Many trees even broke from the weight of these stupid obese Americans who jumped up and down like idiots as if a tree branch would support them. Nevertheless, it was indeed a night for all Americans to feel happy, proud, and patriotic…the way we always tend to do when news like this breaks and then a week later, we go back to not caring. But rumors are starting to leak that it may not have been the American government that is responsible for the killing of Bin Laden. Sources who wish to remain anonymous but say they were at the scene are telling us that the picture that president Obama and the press is painting is not an accurate one. They tell us that the person responsible for killing Bin Laden is indeed Doctor Who. According to these scources, there were no helicopters descending from the sky, simply a blue police call box (later identified as a TARDIS ) that appeared out of nowhere. They say that a tall, slender, dark haired gentleman wearing a bow tie and an attractive red haired female then stepped out of the machine and approached Bin Laden. Sources then say that Bin Laden became incredibly alarmed and pulled a girl in front of him who he was apparently using as some sort of human shield. The man who stepped out of the box then told Bin Laden that “it’s ok, I’m a doctor.” “Doctor who?” Bin Laden then asked, to which the unidentified red haired woman responded “precisely.” At that moment, the doctor reportedly pulled out a gun and shot Osama Bin Laden in the head. Sources say the two then got back into the box and it disappeared. So is it possible that word of this got back to Barack Obama and he saw this as a chance to spin the story and take credit for authorizing a mission himself that would have the US government killing Bin Laden? Perhaps he thought it would be easy because, after all, who would believe a blue police call box would just appear out of of thin air and people could just jump out of it? But we are now learning that British scientists commented on this story just this morning saying that not only is it possible, but has been done many many times. One of them even said that he had witnessed it happen on countless occasions from about 1963 to 1989, then once in 1996, and has now been seeing it happen since 2005 up to now. So perhaps the US government is responsible for the killing of Bin Laden as the news tells us. Or perhaps it was indeed the work of some mysterious doctor who appeared out of nowhere, seemingly traveling through time and space to just show up. We may never know the truth, but whoever may be responsible, America is happy with the results.