El Segundo, California - As of November 1st, DirecTV will be suspending channels such as FX, National Geographic, Fuel, Speed, and many regional Fox Sports channels. DirecTV claims Fox is demanding 40% more than they pay now just for the right to carry those channels. Fox, of course, is denying that they are asking for such a hike in fees. However, it seems that all of the arguing isn’t just about money, as we have recently learned. Here is what started it all -
It seems the whole thing happened this past March when Fox got new braces and DirecTV started talking about them behind their back, calling Fox “brace face” and “metal mouth.” Things escalated the next month when Fox asked Bobby Hanson to the 7th grade dance even though Fox knew that DirecTV had a crush on him and thought he was a total dreamboat. The feud continued through the summer, but reached it’s highest level just this past month when word got around that DirecTV had written that “Fox is a tampon” on the girl’s bathroom wall. After that, all bets were off. The two almost came to blows in pre algebra three weeks ago, but were broken up by Mrs. Keaton, who is also their homeroom teacher. Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, last week when Fox was being picked up from school, Fox distinctly heard the sounds of a Ke$ha CD coming from DirecTV’s mom’s car…..the very same Ke$ha CD that Fox had loaned DirecTV months ago when they were friends, but DirecTV said they lost, but pinkie swore that they would replace. Fox decided this was the last straw and they have now decided they will no longer do business with DirecTV. DirecTV, however, swears they did not steal Fox’s Ke$ha CD and that it is all Fox’s fault for taking away the channels and costing millions of viewers to do without popular shows like Sons of Anarchy, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and The League. This very same dispute happened last year between Fox and Dish Network, but was resolved when Dish took Fox to see the Jonas Brothers when they were in town. It is unclear if the same resolution will happen with this latest clash, however, as DirecTV says they will not be able to afford Jonas Brothers tickets – although Dish Network did – and they have a reported 5 million less customers than DirecTV.
We will have to wait and see how this plays out, but as of now, tensions remain high as DirecTV and Fox remain divided. Also divided is the junior high that the two attend. The battle could reach an all time high next Friday, as both are expected to be at Jenny Aaron’s basement party.