Jackson, Mississippi - It escaped our attention that just this past summer, the Mountain West conference unveiled a new logo. That is probably due to the fact that the Mountain West is in no way relevant and should not be taken seriously. So please forgive us that we just now stumbled upon the joke of a confrence’s new logo and, being the nerds that we are here at Ridicularity.com, found one thing about it extremely interesting. As you’ll see in side by side photos at the top of the article, this new Mountain West logo bears a striking resemblance to the popular BBC America show, Doctor Who. Is this just a huge coincidence? Or are the geniuses that were no doubt paid thousands upon thousands of dollars by the Mountain West to “create” this logo simply Whovians who pulled a fast one on the conference? That remains uncertain. What IS certain, however, is that even the fictional characters in Doctor Who such as the daleks, cybermen, and silurians would likely provide us with more entertaining football than Mountain West members such as Colorado State, UNLV, and Wyoming.

Sirte, Libya - Moammar Ghadafi’s death today brings with it speculation on who exactly killed the man who ruled Libya for 42 years. Many are saying it was rebels who rose up against him and shot him upon his capture, others say it was an accidental crossfire between those rebels and his supporters, yet others still report that it was a US drone that struck a vehicle that he was in. An even bigger question remains, however – Just how in the fuck are we supposed to spell this guy’s name?! We have watched for months now as seemingly every major news outlet features a different spelling of this guy’s name. For example, Fox News spells it QADDAFI, while CNN displays GADHAFI, and MSNBC comes in with KHADDAFY. How does this happen? How does one man’s name have so many spellings?! Maybe that’s what happens when you are such a crazy asshole as he was. Whatever the reason is for his 16 different name spellings, the fact is that he is dead, which is a good thing. But I don’t care how he died, I don’t care who he was killed by, and I don’t care who will replace him. All I care about is getting oil from Libya cheaper so we don’t have to pay 8 dollars a gallon and finding a common ground on HOW TO SPELL THIS ASSHOLE’S NAME! I don’t think either of these things is asking too much!

Oakland, California – Quarterback Carson Palmer, who threatened to retire rather than play for the Cincinnati Bengals, has made good on his threat. Technically, he has been traded to the Oakland Raiders, but that is pretty much the same thing as retiring from the NFL. The Raiders give up a first round pick in 2012 and a 2nd round pick in 2013 that has the potential to become a first round pick if the Raiders end up making the playoffs. Giving up such high draft picks is reminiscent of the numerous terrible decisions that former owner, Al Davis (who everyone talked terrible about while he was alive, but the moment he dies, the same people have speak as if he were the greatest mind ever in football) made. Palmer, whose career record is 46-51, said that he “thought he was retired” until he got a call from Raiders coach, Hue Jackson. The mediocre quarterback then said he is “ready to go” and “excited to be a part of” the Raiders organization…which is clearly a lie, because NO ONE has been excited to be a part of the Raiders organization since the early 90′s. Palmer will replace quarterback, Jason Campbell, who broke his collarbone in last week’s game against the Browns. And though only 5 days after arriving to the team, the possibility of Palmer starting Sunday against the Chiefs was left open by coach Jackson, who referred to the Palmer deal as “the greatest trade in football.” Given Palmer’s history, it wont take long for Jackson to see how very very wrong that statement is. But for now, there is excitement around the Raiders, the franchise where professional football players go to die. Welcome to Oakland, Carson Palmer – you overrated schmuck!

Starkville, Mississippi – The annual in state rivalry game between Mississippi State and Ole Miss, referred to as the “Egg Bowl,” will feature a little extra flare this year as Mississippi State has been chosen as the first team ever to wear the new “LB Deluxe” uniforms from Adidas. The LB stands for Loose Butthole, and in keeping wtih the recent trend of Nike’s uniforms for teams like Georgia and Under Armour’s for Maryland, these uniforms are definitely hideous and will more than likely be appreciated by only the most unrealistic and bias fans who, no matter what, never have anything negative to say about their team. The Bulldogs “LB Deluxe” uniforms will feature gold numbers, the state of Mississippi on the shoulders, an enlarged Mississippi State logo on the chest that makes them look like MSU’s dysfunctional basketball team, and special gold cleats. The back of the jerseys will not feature the last name of the player, as they will instead read Hail State. As terrible of a design it is, the new LB Deluxe uniforms will certainly be a treat for those MSU fans who are colorblind. It should also be a treat for the people of Mississippi in general, as they can take pride knowing a team from their state was chosen as the first team ever to wear the Adidas uniforms, continuing their trend of being first in the nation…like they have been in obesity rate for many years. The eyesores can be seen when the two teams clash on November 26th.

New York – The “Occupy Wall Street” protests that began over three weeks ago have now broken off into a different direction, as many have now begun marching towards 5th Avenue. What is on 5th Avenue? The main office of Capitol Records, and that is the target that the group has in their sights. Their reason for marching towards the Capitol Records office is apparently to protest the lack of nude photographs of pop artist, Katy Perry, who is signed to Capitol. The group that is marching (which is made up of 32 men and 1 woman) says they are sick and tired of not seeing Perry’s exposed breasts and that they have decided to do something about it. We spoke to one protester who explained why the decision was made by the group to break off and head towards the record labels home – “We, as Americans, are sick and tired of working so hard to make a living and then have to turn around and give part of that money we’ve earned to buy a magazine featuring Katy Perry on the cover that makes think that she might be naked inside the pages! She never is! Or we spend money on internet service so we can google “Katy Perry nude pics”….and nothing! Oh, sure, there’s fake ones out there, but I can spot the difference, as I have done some photoshop work myself! Not gonna say what kind of work, but I know what I’m doing! Look, we just want to masturbate to pictures of Katy Perry’s naked body just like every American has the right to do! But unless you’re in the top 1 percent of the country’s wealthiest people, you don’t get that chance because you don’t have the access to her. We have to stand up and let these corporate fat cats know that it is wrong! It’s wrong what they are doing to Americans! We’ve been held down far too long by having to catch a whack to a clothed Katy Perry or a Katy Perry with no shirt but covering her breasts with her hands! I’m tired of using my imagination! America is tired of using it’s imagination! It’s clear that these greedy pigs in charge of Wall Street, the record label, and even the White House, are not looking out for the little guy. Well it’s time for the little guy’s voice to be heard! And that is why we are here today, so they will hear that voice, a voice that says “I am a human being too, and just because I don’t have money does not mean that I shouldn’t get to catch a quality whack to a completely naked Katy Perry!”

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - Eagles quarterback, Michael Vick, said yesterday that the term “dream team” is no more in Philadelphia. The overrated athlete who just happens to be playing quarterback but is not actually a good quarterback, told reporters that “dream team….that word is dead.” Also dead are the dogs that Vick murdered by hanging, electrocuting, and drowning them. The Eagles started this season with extremely high expectations after signing a collection of free agents such as Nnamdi Asomugha, Ronnie Brown, Jason Babin, Cullen Jenkins, Steve Smith, and Vince Young. Not surprisingly, it was the dumbest one on this list, Vince Young, that then made the “dream team” statement when referring to the Eagles. The team has since started 1-3. But don’t blame Young. Just look at the guy’s face! That alone should have told the team to not let him talk to reporters of any kind. For Christ’s sake, the guy scored a 6 on his wonderlic test! But thanks to the backup quarterback with a forehead the size of a movie screen, the rest of the team is now feeling the pressure, including Michael Vick, who has decided to deal with the pressure in the best way he knows how: having animals fight each other. In fact, he has decided that since he can’t have a dream team on the field, he has created what he says is a dream team dog fighting ring. In fact, he has even brought in Vince Young to help him train the defenseless animals that Vick will eventually kill because he is a terrible person who somehow has people fooled into thinking he is a changed man and a good quarterback – both of which are false. “He’s really put together some good looking dogs, man” said Vince Young as he ate some sort of homemade chicken on a stick – which as actually boneless chicken wings that was eating off of a gun (we told you this son of a bitch wasn’t quite right.) Young continued by saying that “It’s good to see Mike smile, man, because this is what he loves – having dogs fight then killing the one who loses. Hey man, you got a sugar cube you can feed me? My face looks like a horse so I like to eat like one, man.”

So who really is to blame for the Eagles slow start? Is it Vick? Is it Young? Or is it head coach, Andy Reid, who has put the fate of his team in the hands of one quarterback who kills dogs and another one that is clearly so stupid, that he probably doesn’t even know what sound a dog makes? Nobody knows right now. At the quarter point of the season, Eagles fans are looking for answers to these questions. The only question we are looking for an answer to is if the NFL can somehow get some pads and helmet made special for Michael Vick that actually protect him LESS? Because our “dream team” is a collection of injuries for him. Some ribs, a broken neck, maybe a severe head injury..

Los Angeles, California – Producers and writers of Fox’s hit television show, Glee, have been sued by a man in Mississippi for providing kids with too many hopes and dreams. Dale Fister of Pearl, Mississippi, filed the lawsuit yesterday against Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuck, and Ian Brennan – all three of whom are writers and executive producers of the show. Below is a statement from Fister on why exactly he has decided to sue:

“The show has just gone too far. I love the overall message of the show, that no matter what sex, race, or sexual orientation you are, that you are a person who can do anything they want. I also love the stand the show takes against bullying, showing kids that it’s ok to stand up for yourself. And I absolutely support the theme that a bunch of outcasts and underdogs are capable of reaching such great heights. It is important for children to have hopes and dreams, and that is what Glee provides. However, it simply went too far recently, when a spontaneous, yet somehow expertly coreographed song and dance erupted in the cafeteria during lunch. Now, you tell me when have you ever witnessed an impromptu, yet flawlessly executed musical number break out in a school cafeteria?! It sure as hell never happened when I was in school! And when it was all over, everyone else applauded. That is just irresponsible to show kids such things and lead them to believe that they will be able to take part in, or even witness this happen at their school! And even if such a thing DID happen, do you think it would be executed so flawlessly although there was supposedly no previous discussion or practice of performing this?! I have an eleven year old son, and I don’t want him seeing this, thinking that’s how high school works, then when it does not happen, being so disappointed, that he drops out. No, he needs to know that if you try shit like that in a lunch room, you are going to get mashed potatoes, rectangular pizza, and chocolate milk that you can barely open because it’s in that shitty paper container, thrown at you! I’m just trying to protect my kid. Look, I’m all for him having hopes and dreams, but we live in Pearl, Mississippi. Do you know how many hopes and dreams actually happen for people from Pearl, Mississippi? NOT FUCKING MANY!!!”

Fister’s case is scheduled to be heard by a judge October 27th. The amount he is suing for is currently unspecified. Fister has also said that if his case does not at least go to trial, that he has several more ‘Glee’ related lawsuits in the works. The only one he would disclose involved severe emotional distress he has suffered trying to figure out why exactly he hates ‘Glee’ star, Lea Michele, so much. Fister says he has spent countless sleepless nights trying to pinpoint whether it is her INCREDIBLY over dramatic acting or if it’s her off-putting face, which is more than likely due to her very unpleasant looking nose. “Is it too big? Is it too flat? I mean, what the fuck is going on with that thing?” Fister wonders.